


Polaris

by xnemone



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bounty Hunter Kaneki, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Florist Nagachika Hideyoshi, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Lowkey Primal Kink, M/M, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-01-21 01:10:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21291248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xnemone/pseuds/xnemone
Summary: Polaris (/poʊˈlɛərɪs/), designated Alpha Ursae Minoris, commonly the North Star or Pole Star, is the brightest star in the constellation of Ursa Minor. The North Star is commonly said in literature and mythology to guide travelers home after a lengthy and difficult journey.In which an old friend returns from the dead and a murderer walks free, both to realize they’ve been in love far longer than they’d care to admit.
Relationships: Kaneki Ken | Sasaki Haise/Nagachika Hideyoshi
Comments: 23
Kudos: 145





	1. The Southern Cross

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to my north star, who got me back into Tokyo Ghoul and convinced me to take another look at my old Tokyo Ghoul fic Monsters and Men. It’s bad but it had potential so I spent a while reworking it. Everything’s different except for the premise so it doesn’t really count as a rewrite to me, hence the altered title and tags. Anyway, I really poured a lot of effort into this and yeah it’s kinda sad at times but if I don’t make you cry have I really done my job right? Hint: the answer is no.

It’s been a long time since the accident. It’s been a long time since the war, and yet… When one of Hide’s customers mentions the name “Eyepatch,” he can’t help looking up.

“I just can’t believe they’d consider letting ghouls like Eyepatch have another chance,” she tells her companion—a man in his mid-twenties—in a low voice. She touches his arm lightly and gazes up at a purple orchid on the shelf as she continues, “I mean, I understand the idea of granting them personhood, but it’s still a little crazy to consider releasing known murders, you know?”

“Well you know, they say he’s a special case,” the man comments, reaching up to pull the orchid off the shelf for her to see more closely. “Apparently, he was driven insane and forced to join Aogiri to protect his friends. You know, the Anteiku bunch.”

“You mean that supposed no-kill ghoul group?” she replies. She turns away and begins to make her way toward the register with the plant in hand. “Is anyone really supposed to believe there’s such a thing as ‘ethical’ ghouls, when they all have to eat human flesh to survive?”

She sets the plant down on the counter and begins to fish for her wallet, but the man comes up behind her and offers a few bills instead. He flashes Hide a smile before he turns his gaze back to her.

“I’m sure they’re not all bad,” he replies. “After all, you saw some of their statements on the news. Some of them seem almost human.”

She sighs and closes her purse, ignoring the man’s comment in favor of meeting Hide’s gaze as he hands back their change with a murmured, “Thank you, please come again.” She accepts it with a bow and hands it back to him, turning away with the plant tucked in the crook of her arm. Their conversation turns to what they should have for dinner as they leave the store, and Hide exhales a sigh when the bell above the door chimes as it closes after them.

He steps out from behind the counter, untying his apron as he goes. He hangs it on the hook against the wall by the door to the greenhouse out back and pokes his head in. A young woman with long, straight black hair and thick round glasses is re-potting some lilies with a soft smile.

“I’m taking my lunch break,” Hide tells her with a smile. “I’ll be back in a moment, Hana-chan!”

She looks up and lets her smile widen when she sees him. She waves and calls back, “Alright, Hide-san! I’ll finish up here in just a moment.”

He nods and steps away, slipping his hands in his pockets as he goes. He steps out onto the sidewalk under dappled sunlight, which falls through the leaves of dogwood trees that line the streets of this particular neighborhood. Some of the leaves are starting to fall, their color fading from a vivid green to orange and yellow. He walks down the street to a bakery where he orders a simple turkey and tomato sandwich and steps off to the side to wait. He pulls out his phone to find the date, and notices with a start that it’s the anniversary of two years since the accident. He smiles. The scar against his ribs feels taut, and he touches the fabric of his collared shirt above it gently.

He’s avoided it for so long thinking Kaneki doesn’t want to see him. After all, Hide is the reason he’s in this mess. He pushed Kaneki to ask out Rise, and if he hadn’t… Maybe the memories of the life he once had are too painful for him, but nonetheless, Hide would be remiss as a friend if he didn’t go to see how Kaneki’s feeling.

Who knows? Maybe Kaneki doesn’t hate him after all.

~+~+~+~

His hands itch. The more he cracks his knuckles, the more they ache but at least it releases the need. The manacles are cold and unforgiving, their edges having long-since rubbed the skin beneath them raw on his ankles and wrists. They’re imaginary now, but his nails have scratched the same marks where they used to be. His cell is dark and plastic with its tinted glass window that stretches across the far wall, and his thin cot against the opposite. The hours stretch into days stretch into months. He’s not sure how long he’s been here. Years? Maybe.

“Ken Kaneki,” a voice calls through the glass, warped and familiar.

Kaneki’s head snaps up from where he’s seated cross-legged on the cot, shoulders arched in. Inspector Amon stands tall on the other side, his expression calm and serious as ever. Kaneki grins.

“Hello, Inspector,” he greets, his voice gravelly and rough from disuse.

He stands and strides up to the metal chair placed in front of the window, turned around to his comfort. He straddles it and rests his chin on his crossed arms atop it as he looks up at the inspector.

“What can I do for you today?”

“Here,” Amon says.

He tosses a newspaper onto the small counter in front of the window. On the cover is a picture of a man leaving a courthouse flanked by CCG agents and flashing cameras. The caption declares, “Ghouls Granted Personhood After Lengthy Legal Battle!”

Kaneki looks up at Amon again. “What does this have to do with me?”

Amon’s eyes narrow slightly. “Certain ghouls are being released on certain conditions,” he states. “First, they must make an oath to do no harm to humans and only eat the meat provided by CCG officials. Second, they must be evaluated by a psychologist and deemed sane. Third, a human judge and jury must vote to allow them to reenter society.”

Kaneki frowns. There’s no way they would let him go. Not after the things he’s done.

But the world has a way of proving him wrong.

“Dr. Nakamura will be arriving in a few days to do your psych eval.”

Kaneki tenses.

“Of course, her decision will determine whether or not you deserve the trial,” Amon continues, as if what he’s saying hasn’t just shattered Kaneki’s world. “If you decide to take the oath and be put on trial, a lawyer will be assigned to you unless you choose otherwise. Most ghouls have housing prearranged with a human or ghoul associate, so you should get in touch with anyone you know if you plan to go through with that. We can discuss the details after Dr. Nakamura’s visit.”

Amon turns to leave.

“Why?” Kaneki calls after him, staring wide-eyed at the newspaper in front of him.

Amon pauses. He stares down at Kaneki, at the broken husk of what was once one of the CCG’s greatest threats. Or rather, perhaps he was one of their greatest threats because he’s so broken.

“Why what?”

Kaneki gulps. “Why me?” he whispers, breathless.

Amon almost smiles. He turns back toward the boy and says, “Because even ghouls deserve a second chance. Use it wisely, Ken Kaneki.”

He chokes back a sob and covers his mouth as his tears start to fall.

~+~+~+~

The sky is blue and clear on the Monday Hide decides to visit his old friend. The weather is starting to cool. He brings a single red spider lily in a terracotta pot, dressed in an oversize yellow hoodie and his nicest pair of bluejeans. A few people glance at the flower in his hands on the train and the sidewalk, but he doesn’t mind. It isn’t until he is standing outside Cochlea trying to hold back tears as he stares up at it that he starts to garner more than a two-second glance.

“Okay,” he whispers to himself. “Okay, you can do this.”

He’s almost surprised that there are people in the lobby area. Granted, most of them are investigators or released ghouls, but he’s not alone. There are scientists and “chefs” dressed in white, and cheerful receptionists at the front desk handing out paperwork and meal packets.

Hide makes his way over, feeling numb and overwhelmed. In a daze, he asks the receptionist if it’s possible to visit someone imprisoned here. She startles and looks up at him, taking in the black mask over his mouth and the nervous look in his eyes. She sees the red spider lily and her eyes soften a little.

“That depends, sir. Who would you like to see?”

“...Ken Kaneki.”

A pen drops behind him. Hide doesn’t dare look back.

“I see,” the receptionist replies, typing something into her computer. She licks her lips. “Well, seeing as he’s an SS-rank ghoul, you’ll need upper level clearance or permission and supervision from a First Class Investigator or above.”

“Oh.” Hide looks down at his plant as his tears threaten to spill over. “I don’t have that.”

“Well then, I’m sorry but-”

“Kaneki, you said?” a deep voice interrupts as a man comes up behind him.

Hide turns. His eyes widen when he sees First Class Ghoul Investigator Koutarou Amon standing beside him, all six-foot-three of him. There’s a black pen in his left hand resting between his fingertips.

“Are you Hide Nagachika-kun?” Amon asks, fixing Hide with a calm, serious look.

“Um, yeah. How did you-?”

“Kaneki saved your life, didn’t he?” Amon continues, frowning slightly. “You’ve never come to visit him though. Are you scared of him?”

“Well…” Hide looks off to the side. “That’s a difficult question, sir. We were friends, once. I don’t… I don’t know what he considers me now though.”

“...Would you like to find out?”

Hide looks up. The expression on his face must betray the truth, because Amon turns to the woman behind the desk with a serious expression and requests a visitors’ pass to the lowest level of the prison.

She blushes and keeps her eyes fixed down as she prints off Hide’s pass and offers it to him with shaking hands. He bows in thanks before he hurries to catch up with Investigator Amon as he walks away. When Hide catches up, he looks up at the man with a mixture of worry and wonder.

“Thank you,” he says softly, returning his gaze to the ground before him.

“That kid has gone through worse than you or I could ever imagine,” Amon confides, his gaze fixed straight ahead. “I think he could use a friend. Perhaps now more than ever.”

Hide allows a small, genuine smile to grace his lips for the first time today.

“Yeah,” he sighs, “I hope so.”

Amon spares him a glance and says nothing.

When they reach the elevators, Amon removes a key card from his breast pocket and slides it through the keypad. It lights up green with a beep before the doors open with a hiss. Amon steps in and turns to Hide with a calm, expectant raise of his eyebrow. Hide takes a deep breath and follows him on. The doors close behind him and the elevator chimes, announcing their destination in a polite, cheerful voice. Hide doesn’t realize he’s holding his breath until Amon warns him to relax.

“There’s a reason senior investigators have to accompany anyone who wants to visit SS-rank ghouls,” he admits, “but it’s not what everyone thinks. They’re dangerous, but this isn’t the most secure prison in Japan for no reason. Some of the ghouls try to manipulate civilians and lower-ranked investigators, but the main reason we have to accompany people like you is for your comfort. The number of people we found having panic attacks in the bathroom before we implemented this rule is ridiculous.” Amon shakes his head.

Hide realizes with a start that he’s trying to make a joke. He gives a nervous laugh in response and turns back toward the doors.

Well, the investigator has a point. This isn’t some shady motel in the red light district. He’s not visiting a sociopath, or a stranger. This is Kaneki, his best friend since childhood whose first reaction to becoming a ghoul was to alienate his human friends in order to protect them. Sure, he’s a violent criminal imprisoned for multiple homicides, but nobody’s perfect.

Hide gives a genuine smile at that. Amon spares him another corner-of-the-eye glance, but again says nothing.

The elevator finally comes to a stop at the bottom level. The two of them step out and cross the bridge to the walkway around the edge, where clouded glass obscures the ghouls trapped inside the cells behind. Dull thuds from a level higher penetrate the electric hum of fluorescent lights. They finally come to a stop in front of the third cell to the left, and the glass clears.

A man is revealed doing one-handed push-ups on the floor, his chest and feet bare. His hair is long and white, as though he hasn’t had a haircut in months. He’s muscular and lean, wearing just a thin, grey pair of pants. His room is sparsely furnished, with a clean, made bed against the far wall, a desk, and a small bathroom behind a partition. There’s a newspaper on the desk with a photo Hide recognizes as the one from the passage of the new law.

“Ken Kaneki,” Amon calls. “You have a visitor.”

Kaneki stops and looks up, his long white hair falling around his face. His eyes are both clear now, white and startled. He pushes himself to his feet and starts to walk toward the glass slowly, staring at Hide as though he can’t believe his eyes.

After what happened, Hide wouldn’t be surprised if he couldn’t.

“Hide?” he calls, his voice muffled and breathless. He presses his fingertips to the glass. “What are you…? You’re alive?”

“Yeah,” Hide replies with a smile. “Hey, Kaneki. It’s me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm kinda gonna use this first chapter to gauge interest before I finish the fic and continue uploading, so please let me know what you think.


	2. The Balance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow the TG fandom is really dead huh. Keep an eye out for the double slash if you're horny.

Kaneki wakes on the morning of the trial to the sight of a red spider lily on his desk. He slips out of bed without a word and crosses to the small bathroom in his cell with its narrow shower stall and dual-purpose toilet/sink.

The suit and tie Hide lent him rest folded on top of the old newspaper on his desk, an unassuming package for what it represents.

He picks up the clothes and starts to dress, enjoying the tug of the shirt’s sleeves on his shoulders and the snug fit of the jacket. He hasn’t quite forgotten how to tie it, luckily, and manages to do it properly on the second try. It’s nothing fancy, just a regular black blazer and slacks with a black tie and a dark grey button down, but it’s the nicest clothes he’s worn since they put him in here. He relishes the stiffness of the fabric, the taut seams, the way the buttons fold the fabric around them. He keeps the topmost button undone. He had his hair cut too, clean and sharper than it used to be.

Kaneki is ready when the guards come to retrieve him, armed and serious.

“Ken Kaneki,” Amon greets, standing between them with his hands in his pockets. “Congratulations. It’s time to go.”

He bows his head in acknowledgement and turns his back with his hands on the back of his head. The hidden door opens with a hiss and the guards step in, their boots clicking heavily on the metal floor. One of them stands by the door with his quinque—a long, electric-looking sword—at the ready. The other comes up behind Kaneki. They ask him to remove his jacket for a moment in order to fit a harness around his chest too, to prevent him from using his kagune. Then he helps Kaneki back into it and takes each of his hands roughly to press them into heavy-duty handcuffs.

As if he would sabotage this chance now.

Wordlessly, he lets them shove him through the door and follows Amon toward the elevator. He keeps his chin held high and his shoulders squared as much as the harness will allow, the guards flanking him on either side. The elevator opens at the touch of Amon’s keycard. They step inside, Kaneki and his guards first, followed by Amon who stands at the front and presses the button for the first floor. As the elevator begins to rise, Kaneki feels his stomach flip.

He has a chance. If he can manage to convince the judge and jury that he’s not as crazy as he used to be, then maybe…

Well, he can think about that if the trial goes smoothly.

The elevator doors part. Amon steps out, striding into the lobby as though this is a regular Tuesday morning. Kaneki hesitates until a jab from the butt of the guard’s quinque nudges him forward. He takes a deep breath and steps out, trying to ignore the gaping stares of everyone in the room. Suddenly the weight of the manacles around his wrists and the chains attached to them is all too familiar. It’s difficult to breathe. His heart is pounding. He can’t breathe, can’t see, can’t move but they’re all staring at him, watching, whispering, grinning, laughing-

“Kaneki,” Amon calls gently from a few steps ahead. His expression is calm. “Are you alright?”

One of the guards frowns, but Kaneki just nods and keeps walking. He focuses on the floor as he walks instead of the people, the humans he passes, trying desperately to keep his breath under control until he finally, mercifully makes it into the sunlight outside.

It’s blinding.

He squints up through the light at the black car idling out front. Reporters line the doorway, held back by police officers. Cameras flash and click, people calling questions and his name. He shakes his head to clear it and keeps walking. Amon opens the backseat door for him and waits until Kaneki has been seated with his chains secured to a metal ring in the floor before he shuts the door behind him, the two guards seated on either side of him. Amon slips into the front passenger seat and the driver, an investigator with white hair and thin rectangular glasses, eases the car back into traffic.

Finally, Kaneki can breathe.

“Don’t get too comfortable, ghoul,” one of the guards warns low in his ear. “You’ll be coming back here in a few hours.”

Kaneki ignores him. Soft American pop plays through the speakers. They drive through the city toward the courthouse, which isn’t far away, but it’s far enough to pass an electric billboard displaying a grainy shot of him with his mask, bloodstained and hungry, with the question, “Should we free him?!” plastered next to it in black block kanji on a red background.

Kaneki is grateful the car at least has tinted windows.

When they finally pull up in front of the courthouse, the crowd in front makes the zoo outside Cochlea look like a civil school trip. A helicopter flies by overhead.

“Fuck,” Kaneki sighs, gazing at them with an anguished expression.

“What did you expect? A red carpet?” the same guard retorts with a cruel grin. “Although, I suppose you’d make the floor red no matter what, wouldn’t you?”

“Stop goading him, Chuuza-san,” Amon requests calmly. “Kaneki, are you ready to go in?”

He nods once and waits for the guards to unlock his restraints before he steps out, rubbing his wrists. He turns his chin up and looks at the crowd, scanning for any familiar faces.

He doesn’t see any.

“Kaneki, Kanki-san! What are your opinions on the trial?!”

“Do you really think they’ll let you walk free?”

“Where are your parents, Kaneki-san? Will they be here today?”

Keeping his gaze fixed on the doors at the top of the steps, Kaneki follows Amon and the other investigator up and into the office building as the guards flank him from behind. The weight of the harness is almost suffocating, but the cool air conditioned air is fresh and calming. He strides into the courtroom with all the courage he can muster.

Instantly, the room falls silent. A few cameras click as people begin to whisper, but Kaneki’s gaze is drawn to the two people seated in the front row. Hide looks surprised to see him, but not upset. Touka’s expression is sad and a little nostalgic, but at least she’s smiling. At the sight of them, Kaneki’s heart settles. With the two of them here, he can face anything.

So, with his head held high again at last and a smile on his lips, Kaneki makes his way to the defendant’s seat. His lawyer is already waiting. She’s a wonderful, brilliant woman who happened to also dress in unrelieved black, although her hair is the same color as her dress.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Kaneki murmurs to her with a bow, his hand pressed to his lapel. He can feel the quinque harness underneath.

“Oh my god, is that really him?” a woman in the jury whispers. “He looks so civil!”

“He looks nothing like the photos,” a man breathes, staring at his back.

“Did they really imprison him for years?”

Kaneki is still smiling when he takes his seat.

A few moments later, the judge enters, all rise, and the trial of Ken Kaneki—also known as the SS-rank Eyepatch ghoul—commences.

~+~+~+~

“Hide I swear, if you don’t stop staring at him like you’ve seen a ghost I’m going to eat you,” Touka hisses.

“Sorry,” Hide replies, looking away from his old friend with a sheepish grin. “He just… He looks good. I haven’t seen him in a while and black… suits him.”

He looks up. Touka levels him with a flat glare.

“Was that a pun?”

Hide pales. The way she phrased that was more like a threat than an amused comment.

“Sorry,” he says again, turning away from her to inspect the railing in front of them.

The doctor who gave Kaneki his psych evaluation finishes giving her testimony and retakes her seat with her head held high and her hands folded in her lap. Kaneki’s lawyer begins to explain that her “client” was subjected to severe physical and psychological trauma at the hands of a ghoul named Jason, which drove him to temporary insanity. He joined Aogiri Tree to protect the people he cared about, the peaceful Anteiku group, from ghouls like Jason and from humans who would have persecuted the them on the sole basis of being ghouls, regardless of how they tried to live.

The persecution calls Ken Kaneki to the stand. The state’s lawyer grills him about the claims Dr. Nakamura and Kaneki’s lawyer gave. He answers calmly and, to Hide’s knowledge, honestly. He explains that he did, indeed, join Aogiri Tree to protect his friends. He doesn’t have any living family. He was turned into a ghoul by Dr. Akihiro Kanou after an accident with Rize Kamishiro, the binge eater, and tried to avoid eating human flesh for as long as possible. Doing so nearly drove him to kill his best friend, Hide. The ghoul known as Jason did torture him, yes. How? Well, he’d rather not go into the details. They might be too gruesome for some members of the jury.

The trial goes on for three days. In the end, it’s a matter of opinion rather than fact. The answer to the question of whether should Ken Kaneki be released from Cochlea on parole ends up being decided by majority vote, between those who hate ghouls and those who listened to his story with an open heart.

Finally, it’s time for the judge to give his final verdict.

The court files back in and retakes their seats after a short recess. Kaneki’s smile has faded, but he still sits tall and calm. He cracks his knuckles under the table, one by one. His lawyer’s gaze keeps shifting between the judge, the jury, and the prosecuting attorney. The persecution looks as nervous as they do.

Finally, the judge taps his gavel on the ledge in front of him, clears his throat, and announces his verdict.

“The court hereby declares Ken Kaneki a free man under the conditions that he attend monthly therapy sessions with Dr. Nakamura for a period of six months. He is forbidden from attacking civilians and is required to obtain his meals solely from the Ghoul Countermeasures Bureau, and may be required to speak with investigators to ensure he follows these conditions. Does this satisfy the defendant?”

The judge and every pair of eyes in the courtroom turns to Kaneki and his lawyer, who rise to their feet and bow.

“It does, Your Honor,” Kaneki answers carefully. “Thank you very much.”

“Very well,” the judge replies, tapping his gavel again. “Court dismissed.”

Hide practically vaults over the banister to hug him. Kaneki laughs and taps him on the shoulder twice in return, but when Hide pull back they’re both beaming.

“Congratulations, Ken,” Hide tells him softly.

Kaneki sniffs and looks away, his eyes starting to shimmer. He takes a deep breath and tilts his head, smiling with the most genuine happiness Hide has seen on his face since he became a ghoul. He doesn’t trust himself to speak, so he just lets Hide take him by the wrist and lead him out through the crowds of reporters and civilians into a side room where Amon and the other investigators are waiting for him.

They hand him the last of his personal belongings—including the mask—in a CCG duffel bag and remove the harness under his jacket. He signs some paperwork for them, gives his temporary address as Hide’s place, and shakes Amon’s hand.

“Thank you,” Kaneki tells him softly.

Amon smiles. “Stay out of trouble, Kaneki-kun. See you around.”

Touka and Hide waiting for him outside and provide silent encouragement at Kaneki’s side as they walk through the sea of reporters and people shouting profanities. She keeps her hand pressed lightly to his shoulder. Hide takes his hand subtly and gives it a squeeze. Kaneki couldn’t be more grateful for them.

“Kaneki!” the reporters begin again. “Kaneki-san, look this way please!”

“Kaneki-san, are you surprised by the verdict?”

“What are you going to do now, Kaneki-san?”

He pauses at the last question and turns toward the reporter who asked. The mass of them surge forward, barely held back by the police and the barrier in place. He smiles and slips his hands into his pockets before he answers, proud that his voice only shakes a little.

“What am I going to do now?” he repeats, holding the man’s gaze. He tilts his head and replies, “I think… I’m going to go home.”

“Kaneki! Kaneki-san! What do you mean? Where are you going? Who’s taking you in? Are you going to stay in Japan? Kaneki!”

He thanks Touka for her help and says goodbye to her on the sidewalk before he and Hide slide into the backseat of a taxi, waving as it drives away.

Kaneki has never been more happy in the silence.

“Man, that was rough,” Hide sighs, smiling at him. “I suppose you need a place to crash, right?”

Kaneki looks at him curiously. “I wouldn’t want to intrude…”

“Relax,” Hide replies with a grin, “my place is big enough for the two of us. Besides, you don’t eat human food, which means I won’t be spending more on groceries.” His voice softens and he looks at Kaneki with a fond gaze as he says, “I’d be more than happy to have you.”

Kaneki feels his face warm and turns away to hide it, but he mutters, “Don’t just say things like that!”

Hide just laughs and tells the driver his exact address.

~+~+~+~

Hide’s apartment is bright and warm. Green plants rest on the table, on shelves and stools and window ledges. Every frame and table and shelf is made of unfinished wood, with soft grey and white cushions or blankets on the couch and chairs. The TV against the wall across from the couch is clean and dust-free. In fact, his apartment looks clean and tidy, almost brand new.

“Hide, did you tidy up for me?” Kaneki asks, turning to his best friend with an affectionate half-smile after he sets his small duffel bag down against the wall.

Hide sets his keys on the countertop with a clink and looks away as he scratches the back of his neck. “Not particularly,” he lies. “What makes you think that?”

Kaneki smiles fully now, lowering his eyelids as he leans on the edge of Hide’s countertop and _god, he has no right to look that good-_

“Because the Hide I remember kept empty ramen cups like a collection and sorted his clothes in piles on the floor,” Kaneki teases, quirking an eyebrow.

Hide swallows. His heart is beating faster than it should be. Is it normal for his hands to be sweating this much? Is he having a stroke? Is this what a stroke feels like?

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m not complaining,” Kaneki assures him, raising his palms outward. “It looks good, actually.”

“Um, thanks,” Hide replies.

He licks his lips. His gaze falls to the tie around Kaneki’s neck and he feels his face grow hot, so he turns away and steps into the kitchen.

“Do you want anything?” Hide asks, his voice a little tense. “I have tea, coffee, water…”

“Actually, I could use some coffee. Do you have decaf?” Kaneki replies. He leans on the counter, resting his chin in the palm of his hand with his elbow propped on the edge. “That awful stuff in the courthouse was barely drinkable.”

Hide smiles. “I’m glad to see you’re still a coffee connoisseur.” He sets the coffee machine to brew and pulls two mugs down from the cupboard.

“No way!” Kaneki laughs.

Hide makes the mistake of glancing at him and feels his heart skip a beat. He turns back around quickly before the deepening blush across his face and ears gives him away. Once the coffee pot fills, he pours enough into each of the cups and is about to grab the creamer from the fridge when Kaneki calls his name.

“Hide,” Kaneki says softly, gentle.

Hide looks over to find him staring at his hands, eyebrows furrowed but a small smile curving the corners of his lips.

“That was the first time I’ve laughed since the war.”

Hide sets down one of the mugs in front of him. Kaneki looks up and holds his gaze. Hide’s breath catches in his throat. His chest tightens at the fragile look in Kaneki’s eyes.

“Let’s watch a movie tonight, okay?” Hide suggests, smiling with just a touch of sadness. “It’s been a long day.”

Kaneki smiles and accepts the cup with both hands. He holds it close to his chest as he stares into it.

Hide still remembers how he takes his coffee.

“Yeah,” Kaneki sighs. “That sounds nice.”

Hide takes him by the elbow gently and leads him over to the couch, where Hide kicks his feet up on the coffee table and throws one arm behind his head. He picks up the remote with his other hand and turns on the TV while Kaneki settles in next to him, a little closer than necessary.

Hide doesn’t mind. [//](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20493638)

Although, Kaneki is still dressed in the severe clothes Hide bought for him, jacket and all. He’s barely even loosened the tie.

“Hey, if you want to change into something more comfortable, my closet’s yours,” Hide offers, eyeing him out of the corner of his eye. “The shower, too. There should be some spare towels under the sink. I can catch up on one of my shows while you change.”

Kaneki considers his offer for a moment. Then he nods, and stands up again with a smile and a promise that he’ll be right back.

Hide finally lets himself breathe when Kaneki leaves the room. His bedroom doesn’t have a door, but once Kaneki is out of view, Hide pull his phone out. Two unread messages await him. One is from Touka, asking if they got home okay. The other is from Hana, the girl he employs in his shop. She closed up shop for him and she hopes everything went well today. He smiles as he types a reply.

_Thank you for your help, Hana-chan. I’m going to be a few minutes late tomorrow, so feel free to open shop before I get there. I won’t make you stay too late._

Her response comes a moment later.

_It’s alright, Hide-san! Tell Kaneki-san I say hello~ ;D_

Hide snorts a laugh. He finally turns his phone off and sets it down on the table by his feet, next to their coffee.

“Who were you talking to?” Kaneki asks, startling him just enough to make Hide jump.

Kaneki is staring at him with wide, non-judgmental eyes, a small bundle of black clothing under his arm.

“Oh, it was Hana-chan. She’s a university student who works part-time at my flower shop,” Hide explains, leaning back into the couch. “She says hello, by the way.”

Kaneki’s eyes widen slightly and he tilts his chin up. “Oh! She knows I’m staying with you?”

Hide smiles at him. He tilts his head and replies, “Yeah, she knows. Now hurry up and change, if you keep standing around in those clothes I’ll tear them off myself.”

Kaneki smiles softly and rolls his eyes, but nonetheless steps into the bathroom. Hide flicks through Netflix until he finds the show he’s been watching lately and leans back to continue where he left off.

When Kaneki finally steps out of the bathroom twenty minutes later, a cloud of steam follows him. Hide pauses his show and looks up. Kaneki is wearing the same pair of sweatpants he was when Hide went to visit him, with one of Hide’s oversize white t-shirts. He sits back down next to Hide, smelling like Hide’s Old Spice body wash and something else.

“Hm?” Kaneki hums, catching Hide staring at him. “Is something wrong?”

“Ah, it’s nothing!” Hide waves a hand in front of his face with a nervous laugh. “Say, what do you want to watch? A comedy? Romance? Sci-fi, action?”

“I don’t care,” Kaneki replies, shutting his eyes. “Just as long as you like it.”

So Hide smiles, pulls up the TV show he was watching, and starts it from the beginning.

It’s the best night’s sleep either of them has had in years.


	3. The Cup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I'm exhausted and have a 14-page paper due next week but I've barely started it, I'm working on eight stories right now three of which are novels and I've lost track of all of them but they all end sad except for this one. Thanks for reading. :^)

Kaneki wakes early. The sun has just begun to rise, but he had no sense of time in Cochlea. He sits up slowly, careful not to disturb Hide who lies sleeping at the other end of the couch. Kaneki smiles at him. Hide has one leg sticking out from under the blanket they shared, his foot bare and the cuff of his sweatpants riding up his calf. His hand is tucked under the pillow under his head, his mouth open as he snores.

Kaneki slips out from under the blanket silently. He startles to find the floor beneath his feet smooth and cool, but not unforgivingly cold. His smile widens. He forgot how nice a real floor can be.

Carefully, he tiptoes over to the bag he left on the floor. A few friends have been kind enough to send him gifts over the years, but he has little clothing of his own now. He pulls his wallet out and is grateful to find the cash still there. He leaves the bag with his mask, the newspaper, and a few of his books, and Kaneki sneaks into Hide’s bedroom. The closet door is still open. Kaneki opens one of the dresser drawers and sorts through t-shirts until he finally finds something that suits him.

He pulls out a soft black long-sleeved shirt and picks up the slacks he wore yesterday from where he left them draped over the end of Hide’s bed. He dresses and pulls a hand through his hair before he leaves Hide’s bedroom, taking a moment to notice the latest novel by Sen Takatsuki on the bedside table. Then he steps into the kitchen to begin making coffee. 

Hide begins to stir as the machine grinds the beans, but Kaneki keeps his focus on the coffee. As soon as the beans are finished, he pours them into the filter and starts the coffee machine. Hide doesn’t have the best kind of beans, but Kaneki can remedy that in a quick grocery run. On second thought, Touka mentioned opening her own shop. Maybe he’ll go see her today.

As soon as the coffee pot is full, Kaneki fills each of the mugs just enough to leave room for cream. He sets the remained off to the side and opens the fridge, but a hand on his shoulder gives him pause. He looks up and smiles.

“Good morning, Hide,” Kaneki greets.

“Mornin’,” Hide yawns, covering his mouth with one hand.

He takes the cream from the shelf in the door and steps back to pour some into each of their cups, pulls a spoon out of a drawer by the sink to stir with, and sets it on the counter. He hands Kaneki one of the mugs and puts the creamer back before he takes his own, crosses his free arm over his chest and leans back against the counter.

“You’re up early,” Hide comments with a smile, his eyes warm and chocolaty in the warm morning light.

“Yeah,” Kaneki admits softly, gazing at him. He mirrors Hide’s posture and wraps both hands around the mug, letting the warmth seep into his hands. “I guess I am.”

Hide’s gaze softens slightly as he tilts his head, considering. Kaneki looks different. It’s not just the haircut or the smile, although both of those are nice changes. No, there’s something about the look in his eye and the way he holds himself, like there’s nothing to be afraid of. Like maybe he doesn’t feel so alone anymore.

“What?” Kaneki asks, smirking.

“It’s nothing.” Hide shakes his head, still smiling. “I’m just glad you’re back. I like the haircut, by the way. It looks good.”

Kaneki snorts and brushes a strand of hair behind his ear. “Thanks.”

They stand in silence for a long moment then, simply enjoying their coffee and each other’s company. It isn’t until Kaneki has finished his cup and is about to rinse it off in the sink before Hide breaks the silence.

“Hey, what do you say you come with me today?” he suggests, turning toward Kaneki. “We could grab lunch or—well, I suppose you don’t need that. Um.”

Kaneki smiles at him and Hide feels his heart flutter again. Damn, is this going to keep happening?

“I can’t,” Kaneki replies. “I have something I wanted to do first. Don’t worry, it’s not anything dangerous,” he adds with his hands raised when Hide gives him a look. “I just want to see Touka-chan and stop by the library. I’ll come by later.”

“Hm, okay,” Hide answers, eyes narrow and playfully suspicious.

He finishes off his mug and sets it by the sink. Kaneki picks it up and begins to rinse it, too. Hide turns and wanders off toward his room, his hand raised in an over-the-shoulder wave as he goes.

“Thanks for doing the dishes, Kaneki!”

Kaneki simply smiles and places the two mugs on the top rack of the dishwasher while Hide gets dressed. He returns a moment later in his ridiculous black and yellow hoodie with olive green chinos with the cuffs rolled up and a red baseball cap that makes his hair flare out. Kaneki would shake his head, but with his penchant for unrelieved black, he hardly has ground to stand on. He’d make the argument that at least he looks good in black, but somehow Hide still looks cute in his absurd style. Perhaps especially so because of it.

“Ready to go?” he asks with a grin. “I’ll walk you to Touka’s.”

His eyes sparkle and his lips look so soft. Kaneki wonders briefly what it would be like to kiss him.

“Yeah,” he replies instead. “Let me grab my coat.”

~+~+~+~

The little golden bell above the door chimes and catches the light as Hide walks in. Hana is handing an elderly woman her change at the front desk and a young man is pondering the bouquet wall. He looks to be around his late twenties, maybe a salaryman, but he has the fond, nervous look of a young man about to ask a girl for her hand.

Hide steps up behind him with a ready smile, slipping his hands into his pockets.

“First date or proposal?”

The man startles and turns, his eyes widening as Hide comes up to him.

“Um, well,” he stammers, returning his gaze to the wall. “I’ve been with my girlfriend for a long time and, well… I want to ask her to marry me.”

Hide hums. He follows the man’s gaze to an off-white and green bouquet and Hide smiles.

“Peonies and magnolia are a good choice,” Hide comments, dragging a short wooden stool out from behind a wooden cart overflowing with mini succulents to pull down the bouquet. “Peonies represent prosperity, marriage, and romance. Magnolia mean ‘I will love you always’.”

He hands the bouquet to the man, who examines it for a moment with a fond smile before he nods and says it’s perfect.

Hide walks him up to the register and leaves him in Hana’s care while he grabs his apron from the hook beside the back door and begins to put it on.

“Take care!” Hana calls after the man with a smile.

The bell gives its little musical chime as the door shuts behind him. At last, Hana looks at her boss with a mischievous grin.

“How was your night, Hide-san?”

Hide flashes her a grin. “It was nice,” he answers honestly. He leans over to pluck his leather gloves from the shelf below the desk and tells her, “Kaneki said he’ll drop in later, if you want to meet him.”

Her expression shifts quickly to surprise and then excitement.

“Thank you, Hide-san,” he manages with a bow. “Is… is it alright if I ask him about the trial?”

Hide’s smile disappears, replaced by a firm expression. She looks away and begins to apologize, but he interrupts her.

“Ask him about his favorite books and coffee, instead.” He turns toward the door as it chimes again and lowers his voice as he continues, “He may be a ghoul, but he’s a person first.” Louder, he greets the young artist who just wandered in with a smile and a slight bow. He turns back to Hana and adds, smiling, “I’ll be in the greenhouse if you need me.”

She nods once and watches him go, blinking owlishly after him.

It’s going to be a long morning.

~+~+~+~

“Thank you!” Kaneki calls as he leaves Touka’s shop with a bag of freshly roasted coffee beans and two books under his arm.

“Come again!” she replies automatically, waving.

He steps out onto the sidewalk with a smile and looks around. Before they parted ways outside Touka’s shop, Hide told Kaneki the name of the flower shop and how to get there from the nearest train station. He’s grateful for it too, because although he used to prowl the city at night until he knew every back corner and sidestreet like the back of his hand, it’s almost unrecognizable in the daylight. Especially after two years.

Kaneki walks down the street for a while, noticing the way human gazes linger on him and mothers pull their children closer to them. He takes a seat on the train and notices the gap of space around him, despite the busy morning. He passes an old man begging for change on his way out of the station and flashes him an apologetic smile, but the man just gapes up at him with eyes wide in terror and scrambles up to run away. Kaneki turns away with a sigh.

“Oi! Oi, Kaneki-san!” an unfamiliar voice calls.

Kaneki turns, startled. A young man is walking toward him with a wide grin, dressed in a blue suit and tie. His hair is brown and slicked back. He holds a microphone in one hand and a cameraman follows him about a foot behind.

“Hey, do you have time for an interview, Kaneki-san?” the man asks as he strides up to a stop in front of him, still smiling an easy, slick grin.

“Um, not really...”

“It'll only take a moment!” The man turns toward the camera, straightens his lapels, and begins to speak to an invisible audience. “Hello, Tokyo! My name’s Ichirou Arataka, Japan’s number one freelance reporter! Today we’re here with Ken Kaneki, a formerly SS-rated ghoul known as ‘Eyepatch’. Tell me, Kaneki-san, how does it feel to be out of prison?”

Arataka shoves the microphone into his face. His grin widens, wicked and sadistic, as Kaneki struggles to maintain his composure. Kaneki looks between the microphone and the camera a few times before he speaks, careful to keep his voice from shaking.

“I’m… not proud of what I did, but I’m happy to be given another chance at a normal life. I missed my friends, and the coffee.”

“Your friends, you say?” Arataka leans in. “Who are those, if I might ask?”

“I’m staying with a childhood friend of mine for now, and I just saw one of my old coworkers,” Kaneki answers, leaning away from him as much as social convention will allow. “I’m glad to see she’s doing well.”

“And these friends of yours, are they ghouls or human?”

“Both,” Kaneki admits, frowning now. He cracks his first finger. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I should get going…”

“Hold on, hold on! Just one more question.” Arataka waits until Kaneki turns back around before his grin widens again and he asks, “What does human meat taste like?”

“Okay, we’re done here,” Kaneki snaps.

He turns on his heel and starts to walk away, but the reporter jogs to keep pace with him.

“Hey, hey listen to me, kid. Sorry about that back there, I didn’t mean to upset you it’s just, you know, the viewers want to know!”

Kaneki glares at the camera still doggedly trained on his face and keeps walking.

“Please leave me alone.”

“Hey now, I think we got off on the wrong foot,” Arataka argues, placing a hand on his lapel. “Why don’t we meet up for coffee sometime, huh? Give me that ol’ second chance you were talking about. Come on, it’ll be fun!”

Kaneki stops. He grabs the man by his lapel and forces him against a streetlamp. His eye has turned, he can see it in the reporter’s wide-eyed gaze. He feels a sense of twisted satisfaction at Arataka’s fear, and the acrid stench of it that comes off him. If his viewers really want to know what human flesh tastes like, Kaneki could take a bite right now and-

There’s a woman standing by the side of a building covering her child’s eyes as she stares at him in horror. There, an old man has his phone ready, watching them with suspicion. Hide is waiting for him; Kaneki promised.

Then Arataka grins, a wicked, self-satisfied look that makes Kaneki’s blood go cold.

Kaneki lets him go.

“Sorry.”

Arataka doesn’t even scream. He just backs away and runs, his cameraman close behind. Kaneki bows his head and continues on his way, trying to ignore the stares that follow.

After what feels like an agonizingly long time, he looks up to see Hide’s shop, Komorebi, across the street. Its title is emblazoned in white block lights above the front window and in silvery script on the front window. Kaneki pauses and looks around. Hide mentioned getting lunch, but it would be awkward to walk into a shop for only Hide to eat. There’s a sandwich shop on the corner that looks promising, so Kaneki steps inside.

Immediately, the nauseating smell of human food fills his senses. He’s going to have to get used to that again.

Slowly, he walks up to the register and examines the menu. One of the servers starts to greet him and yelps when he recognizes Kaneki.

“Uh-hm, sir? Can I help you?”

Kaneki looks down. The poor young man is shaking like a leaf.

“I’m here to order something for my friend,” he says gently, careful to keep his tone soft. “I was wondering if you have any recommendations?”

“S-sure!” the boy stammers, picking up a notebook and pen with trembling hands. “There’s, um, the house special, which is a turkey veggie sandwich today. There’s a vegan option, but you’re… Um.”

“That sounds fine,” Kaneki answers with a smile. “I’ll take the turkey special.”

Thank god he still has cash.

~+~+~+~

Hide is working in the back when he hears a succession of noises. First, the bell chimes. Hana begins to greet a customer but stops mid-sentence, and a pot smashes.

Hide turns off the hose and peeks his head around the doorway.

“Sorry, sorry,” Hana stammers, kneeling over a shattered clay pot.

“Don’t worry about it,” Kaneki replies with a warm smile, reaching out to help her pick up the pieces.

“Ah, hold on!” she exclaims, jumping back to her feet. “Let me get the broom!”

Kaneki just continues to pick up the pieces as Hide walks toward him. He notices the two plastic-covered books tucked under Kaneki’s arm and the small white bag from Touka’s shop resting beside him.

“Busy morning?”

Hide kneels in front of him to pick up the clod of dirt held together by the spider plant’s roots. He takes it to the counter and carefully repots it in a spare for the time being. He’ll redo it properly later.

“I suppose that was Hana?” Kaneki asks as he rises to his feet, an eyebrow quirked and a smile on his lips.

He throws away the pieces and picks up the paper bag. He sets it on the counter and reaches in to pull out a carefully wrapped sandwich from the store across the street. Hide raises his eyebrows and takes it.

“You brought me lunch?”

Kaneki glances away with a shrug. “I figured it would be less awkward than going somewhere and having me watch you eat. I’ve already had enough coffee today.”

“Yeah,” Hide agrees. He grins and looks at the bag again. “So you stopped by re?”

“Yes.” Kaneki meets his gaze again, his head tilted slightly. “Touka says hello, but she told me to tell you that you owe her two-thousand yen.”

“Damn, I knew I shouldn’t have taken that bet,” Hide sighs, shaking his head.

Hana returns with the broom and sweeps up the remainder of the dirt and smaller shards, muttering about being clumsy.

“Hana-chan, this is my friend Kaneki,” Hide introduces with a smile. “Ken, this is Hana-chan.”

Kaneki bows slightly and startles when Hana’s face turns red.

She bows low and stammers, “I-it’s nice to meet you, sir!”

“It’s okay, you don’t have to be so formal,” Kaneki laughs, waving a hand dismissively with a bright smile. “You’re Hide’s employee, right? I’ve heard a little bit about you.”

Her blush darkens further. She gapes at him, then looks at her boss, then back and forth for a few moments.

Finally, she chokes out to Hide, “You mentioned me?”

He beams at her and exclaims, “Of course I told him about the best gardener in the world, Hana-chan!”

She sways a little. Kaneki reaches out to steady her and rests his hand on her shoulder lightly, but she just gapes at him. He frowns.

“Are you okay?” he asks her, concerned.

She snaps her mouth shut like a goldfish and shakes her head to clear it. She takes a step back and replies, “I’m fine, sorry! It’s just, I’ve really been interested in your case and such because you basically represent a second chance for all of us, ghouls I mean, so we don’t have to live in the shadows anymore. I’m just really amazed and I really admire you.”

Kaneki smiles. “Well, I’m glad you see my case that way, but I’m really not that special,” he argues, rubbing the back of his neck.

“He’s right. I saw him use his kagune to pick up the remote last night,” Hide supplies from behind the counter. “Not to mention how nervous he gets around his crushes. Ooohh, you should see him when his favorite author writes a new book, he’s adorable then.”

“Hide!” Kaneki yells, whipping around to shoot him a glare as a blush spreads across his face.

Hide just rests his chin in his hands with an impish grin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cup is associated with Apollo, so I thought it fitting for this sunny chapter. Yes, Hide’s part-time employee’s name is Hana and she works in a flower shop. I didn’t actually plan her character beforehand, but I realized Hide wouldn’t run a shop all by himself. She sort of blossomed (pardon me) under that idea.


	4. The Archer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of feelings. A little bit of crying too.

“So, Hana’s a ghoul.” Kaneki smiles at Hide as they walk along the riverbank at sunset, like schoolboys on their way home.

“Yeah,” Hide replies with a smile, his hands behind his head as he stares up at the setting sun. “She’s never said it outright before, but I kind of knew.”

Kaneki smiles at him. “Like you knew with me?”

“Nah.” Hide shoots him a glance and lets his hands drop so he can slip them into his pockets. “You were super obvious.”

Kaneki laughs. “You also knew me before I changed,” he retorts with a smile.

The warm light of the setting sun makes Hide’s brown eyes look even warmer when he gazes at Kaneki and confides, “That had nothing to do with it.”

They lapse into silence for a moment, walking along the riverbank until they reach their street. Kaneki wrinkles his nose at the smell coming from an alleyway, and Hide gives him a curious glance. Kaneki steps in front of him as they walk past the alley, but he’s not fast enough to stop the men who come tearing out of it and drag Hide from his grasp.

They pull him farther into the alleyway and Kaneki follows, murderous intent radiating off him as he steps into the shadows. One of the men holding Hide by his elbows draws a knife to his throat. Kaneki freezes, eyes going wide.

“Stupid ghoul sympathizer,” the man with the knife spits, grinning. “Shoulda left ya to die on the streets, monster!”

One of the others throws an empty bottle. Kaneki dodges it with ease. He plants his feet, squares his shoulders, and narrows his eyes. There are only five of them, but two are carrying guns and a third has a blackmarket quinque, a silver katana. He holds it loosely in his right hand, probably an amateur. The two with guns have them tucked into their waistbands like yakuza wannabes, and the man with the knife digs the blade into Hide’s neck so that it forces his chin up.

“Let him go,” Kaneki warns, his voice deadly calm against the blazing fury within him.

“What? Are you gonna kill us, ghoul? Eat us alive?” the man with the knife prompts.

Cocky bastard.

“Let.” Kaneki cracks his knuckle. “Him.” Crack. “Go.” _Crack_.

“Kane… ki,” Hide chokes, squinting at him.

He can barely see, but the expression on Hide’s face says enough. There’s anger and a warning in his eyes that says not to give in, not to let them provoke him.

Kaneki takes a deep breath.

He bows his head and closes his eyes, listening. There’s a TV on in an apartment above, but the door onto the balcony isn’t open. A couple is talking in a house across from the alley, and a cat meows down the street. Hide’s breath is even, almost calm. The hearts of the men looking to be predators are beating fast, their blood rushing, churning, tempting…

No. He doesn’t need the food yet, and he wants to stay with Hide. Hide, who still, after everything, wants to be his friend. Hide, who trusts him to save them both without killing anyone.

“What do you want?” he asks the men, his eyes closed, still listening.

The man with the quinque shifts his weight. The one with the gun holding Hide back breathes in sharply. Kaneki removes the eyepatch and slips it into his pocket.

“We want you and all your friends to die!” the man with the knife shouts, clearly the brains of the group.

Kaneki opens his eyes. The left has turned, and Kaneki draws his heels together to face them. He draws himself up to his full height, tilting his chin up slightly. Two of them grumble under their breath, shifting into fighting stances, while the weaponless one pales and gulps.

“If you kill him,” Kaneki proposes calmly, “what makes you different from a ghoul? You don’t eat him, sure, but then you’re even worse. Killing a man for no reason, now _that’s_ murder. That’s worse than killing because you _have_ to, because you have to eat. Don’t you think so?”

“You don’t have to kill them, you can eat dead people too! We saw it on TV!” one of the gun-bearers shouts, earning grumbles of agreement from his compatriots.

“But how many dead humans are willing to let us eat them?” Kaneki returns with a tilt of his head. “Even if there were enough fresh bodies to feed us all, turf wars and territory rights cause conflict that prevents weaker ghouls and children from having access to them.”

The law prevents him from attacking a human without provocation. It also prevents him from injuring a human with his kagune. It does not, however, prevent him from protecting someone without it.

“The CCG’s system provides those of us willing to accept the Ghoul Rehabilitation Program with meals made from amputated body parts, donated corpses, and meat from dead prisoners,” Kaneki continues. He starts to walk toward them, toward Hide, his heels clicking on the pavement like the sound of power, raw and undefined. “It’s the best compromise they could come up with,” he announces lightly, rolling his head to stretch his neck. He comes to a full stop a few feet in front of the man with the knife and grins at him and leans in with a grin. “And it’s still not going to be enough.”

The man with the knife tenses, drawing it across Hide’s neck. A scratch appears, and the scent of fresh blood makes Kaneki lick his lips. The man with the gun who was helping hold Hide takes a step back and lets go. His friend looks at him with wild eyes for a split second before Hide grabs the man’s wrist, punches him hard in the gut, and pins him to the ground so the knife clatters out of his hand.

The man with the quinque and both of the ones with guns rush forward with war cries, but Kaneki dodges the katana and grabs the barrel of the gun that’s pointed at him to wrench it out of the man’s hand. He throws it down the alleyway and turns to duck a swing from the third man, who still hasn’t removed the weapon from his waistband.

Too bad for him.

Kaneki kicks him not gently, but not as hard as he would a ghoul, and still sends him flying into the unforgiving cement wall that doesn’t shatter, doesn’t crack, where the man promptly collapses and vomits. Not broken, though. Not even a bone.

A dull hit makes Kaneki turn around to find the formerly weaponless man holding a bent pipe, staring at him in horror. Kaneki tears it out of his hand and tosses it down the alleyway in the opposite direction of the gun. The man screams and runs away.

The other two men charging at once, their weapons—a stolen quinque and the fallen knife—raised above their heads.

Kaneki smirks. He bends his knees, and when the three of them get too close, he jumps.

The quinque embeds itself in the wall. The knife swipes harmlessly through the air, and the man holding onto it looks up at Kaneki and glares.

Kaneki sits crouched on the railing of the balcony. He releases his kagune slowly, watching fear widen the men’s eyes as he reaches down. The two of them take off running as the third still struggles with Hide on the ground and the fourth lies unconscious in his own vomit, but Kaneki doesn’t reach for them.

Instead, he wraps it around Hide’s waist slowly, carefully, and lifts him away from the man. He has a busted lip and a scrape on his cheek but otherwise he looks alright, and the other man seems much the same. Except for the addition of a black eye and some split knuckles.

“I’d take your friend and leave, if I were you,” Kaneki warns with a smile as he sets Hide down safely a few feet away. “Don’t come after me or my friends again, okay?”

The man shakes his buddy awake and they run away, shrieking. Kaneki jumps down beside Hide and rests a hand on his hip, smiling after them.

“We should get out of here, huh?”

“Yep,” Kaneki replies with a smile. “Come on.”

He grabs Hide’s wrist and takes off down the alleyway, turning the corner just as the balcony door opens a voice calls out, “Who’s there?”

“Crap, man, if the CCG finds out about this-”

“Shut up and run!” Kaneki hisses back.

He scans their surroundings as he pulls Hide through narrow side streets and narrower alleyways, around dumpsters, parked cars and the occasional cat. The sun has finally set, giving Kaneki an advantage. It’s all starting to look a little more familiar.

“Left,” Kaneki warns at an intersection. “Now right. Left again. Now at the end of that alley there should be a gate and, yep, your apartment should be the third up, on the corner.”

Kaneki finally lets go of Hide’s wrist as they come to a stop in front of the wrought-iron gate. Hide folds over, puts his hands on his knees and tries to catch his breath. Kaneki looks back at him, blinking owlishly.

“Crap, man,” Hide rasps, shooting him a raised eyebrow and a pained expression. “You got a treadmill in that cell or what?”

Kaneki straightens. Then it clicks.

Not only is Hide is a human, but he probably hasn’t gone for a run since high school. He most certainly hasn’t spent two years in solitary confinement where Kaneki spent most of his free time working out or reading.

“Oh!” Kaneki exclaims, just realizing why it felt like he was practically dragging Hide half the way.

“Seriously?!”

~+~+~+~

“You’re insane,” Hide exclaims when they alight just inside his window.

Kaneki finishes sealing his kagune and shuts the window softly. He turns his head as Hide collapses onto the couch with a soft thud and drapes his arm over his eyes. He’s kicked off his shoes and left them at the corner of the coffee table.

“You have got to be kidding,” Hide continues, gesturing with his other hand.

Kaneki takes both their shoes back to the front door before he comes to sit beside him, smiling gently.

“So you almost got into a fight with a fake reporter today, and then you take on four guys at once without your kagune, trying not to kill them.” Hide makes a strangled sound in the back of his throat and drops his arm. He stares up at the ceiling as he asks, “Do you have any idea how dangerous that is? Your first day out of prison and you’ve already broken the law. Hana is going to be so disappointed.”

“Hey,” Kaneki calls gently, frowning. He touches Hide’s ankle lightly and waits until Hide meets his gaze before he continues. “I haven’t broken any laws. I threatened the man, but he provoked me and I let him go unharmed. The guys in the alleyway, they were trying to kill you and me. I’m not allowed to use my kagune, but I can defend myself without it if necessary. That’s the law.”

“What if the jury doesn’t see it that way?” Hide argues. “What if-”

“Hide.” Kaneki moves his hand up Hide’s leg, feeling the skin and bones under his jeans. “It’s okay,” he promises gently. “Whatever happens, I’ll handle it.”

Hide sighs. He looks away, suddenly much more tragic.

“...I thought you’d hate me.”

Kaneki blinks. “What?”

“I was afraid.” Hide looks at him again like the burden of Atlas rests upon his shoulders, his eyes heavy and sad. “It’s my fault you’re like this, and I’m-” He turns away again, drawing his arms across his chest. “I’m sorry.”

Kaneki leans in, frowning. “Hide, what are you talking about?”

“I pushed you to ask out Rize,” Hide says with a shrug, his gaze fixed on the edge of the coffee table. His eyes start to brim with tears. He covers his face with his hands and says, “If I hadn’t, maybe you would’ve… Maybe…”

Kaneki watches him curl into himself. Then Hide sobs, and Kaneki’s eyes widen. He reaches out carefully to put his hand on Hide’s hip, the closest part of his torso Kaneki can reach, and sighs.

“It’s not your fault,” he swears, his tone firm but gentle. “Besides, I kinda like it this way.”

Hide looks at him, tears and snot dripping across his face, but Kaneki just smiles.

“Just think. If I wasn’t a ghoul, I never would’ve stopped being the literature department shut-in.”

Hide sobs a laugh, and Kaneki considers it a heartbreaking step toward victory.

“And if you hadn’t come to Anteiku during the war, then I wouldn’t have realized you weren’t scared of me, and spent the next two years wondering why you never called.”

Hide laughs again, and this time it’s a little closer. He at least sits up and wipes his eyes on his sleeves.

“My life was _so boring_ before that.” Kaneki smiles and looks toward the shelves against the wall, filled with plants and books and knick-knacks, his hands returning to his lap. “I mean, I went to club meetings and stayed shut in reading books. How lame is that?”

“But you were happy,” Hide remarks softly, staring at his hands with another sad smile.

Kaneki looks at him for a moment, and in that glance he sees the man his best friend has grown into. A little sad, a little broken, but still himself. Still brighter than the sun itself, even with red-rimmed eyes.

“I wasn’t. Not really.”

Hide looks up, surprised.

“I don’t think anyone can be truly happy unless they know what it’s like to lose everything.” Now it’s Kaneki’s turn to bow his head and smile. “It makes everything a little more precious.”

“I guess so,” Hide muses. He nudges Kaneki with his toe and grins at him, though his eyes still shine. “Thanks, man.”

Kaneki gives him a small smile. His gaze falls upon the wounds on Hide’s face and neck, small scratches and bruises turning shades of yellow and brown.

“Let’s get you cleaned up.”

~+~+~+~

“I mean, I just don’t get it!” Hide exclaims, head tilted back as Kaneki dabs rubbing alcohol on the scratches across his neck. “How come I fight with one guy and get all beat up, but you handle four and didn’t even take a hit?”

He’s sitting cross-legged on the couch as Kaneki handles his wounds. Bandages, concealer, and cotton balls spill out of a plastic bag on the table.

“Hold still,” Kaneki murmurs for the fourth time, swabbing a drop of blood from one of the cuts as it reopens. Louder, he replies, “They were amateurs. I fought ghouls and investigators for a long time who were much more dangerous than them. It’s a lot easier to dodge a wide-swung punch and a knife that couldn’t hurt me than Touka’s kagune.”

Kaneki pulls back and Hide smiles, lowering his jaw at last. The swelling on his lip has gone down, and Kaneki covered the scrape with a gauze bandage.

“...You shouldn’t go out in public with me anymore.”

Hide looks at him and frowns. “Why not?”

“It’s not safe.” Kaneki cracks one of his knuckles, staring at the floor. “I don’t want you to keep getting hurt because of me.”

Hide rolls his eyes. He rests his hand on Kaneki’s shoulder and leans in to look him in the eye. Kaneki looks up through his bangs.

“Look at us,” Hide starts with a sad smile. “You keep trying to protect me and now that I know you don’t hate me, I can’t let you go. Who cares if they see us together? I know you’ll protect me.”

“Hide, I _can’t_, I’m _not strong enough_!”

“Yes, you are.” Hide’s voice is firm, the hand on Kaneki’s shoulder even more so. “Every single time I’ve gotten myself into a scrape following you, you’ve saved my life. It’s not your fault I keep getting hurt, it’s mine. And even if it was yours, wouldn’t that just make us a little even?”

Kaneki smiles and draws Hide into his embrace. Hide smiles back and holds him close. For a long moment, they stay there, breathing in the scent of each other and letting the stress of the day fade out of their shoulders with each breath they take.

“Come on,” Hide suggests after a while. “Let’s get some rest.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might take a break after chapter six to let myself catch up.


	5. The Hunting Dogs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm, more worried Hide and traumatized Kaneki. Don't worry, they'll get their happy ending. Also, I know Kaneki’s phone wouldn’t still have his voicemail note if he hasn't been paying the bills but consider it artistic liberty.

It’s dark. Kaneki is in some sort of tunnel, hungry, starving, weak. He’s leaning against the wall with a hand pressed to his side when the smell of food makes him raise his gaze. A human, Hide, is walking toward him with a smile and a hand raised in greeting. He says Kaneki’s name, but it sounds as though they’re underwater. In an instant, Kaneki is in front of him and has just long enough to see the startled look on Hide’s face before Kaneki grabs him and _bites_.

Kaneki wakes on Hide’s couch in a cold sweat, shaking, and sits up quietly. Moonlight filters through the window, giving a cold, meager light to the dark room as Kaneki slips out of bed to make a cup of coffee. He holds it close to his chest in both hands as he drinks it, staring up at the ceiling.

At some point, Hide comes out of his room to use the bathroom and makes eye contact with Kaneki for a moment. The two of them say nothing, and Hide goes back to bed. Kaneki finishes his coffee, washes the mug, and heads upstairs to spend the rest of his night on the rooftop.

In the morning, Kaneki watches the sunrise before he heads downstairs to find Hide moving around slowly around the kitchen, smiling to himself in the early morning light. His eye looks darker this morning, but Kaneki helps him put on concealer before he goes. He invites Kaneki to come with him again, but Kaneki declines and sends him on his way. Then Kaneki takes a shower and settles down to read.

Hide opened the window before he left, “To let some fresh air in.”

Kaneki wouldn’t mind, but the sound of life on the street outside is driving him insane. People walking, talking, breathing, hearts beating.

Kaneki’s hungry.

They fed him smaller portions in Cochlea, portions that only lasted him a few weeks or a month at most. The inspectors told him he was supposed to pick up his meal packet the day after the trial ended. It’s been two, now, and he can’t bring himself to go back there. He can’t face that sort of stress alone.

And yet, to ask Hide to come with him when it’s clearly not safe, whether Hide cares or not, is not something Kaneki feels comfortable doing. Not to mention, Hide’s human. To watch Kaneki eat human flesh took some getting used to for _him_, even when Kaneki knew he couldn’t survive without it.

So, with a deep breath, he slips a bookmark into the page he’s on (he’s gotten over halfway through the book today), stands up, and grabs a black wool coat Hide or Touka must have taken from his old apartment. There’s a soft white eyepatch in the bag the CCG gave him, and he slips it on over his left eye. Hide left his spare keys on the counter for him and Kaneki takes them, too.

It feels strange to carry something so normal, to dress in skinny jeans and a button down instead of a battlesuit or prison clothes.

Kaneki makes sure to shut the window before he leaves, and locks the door behind him.

~+~+~+~

“Hide-san, stop moping,” Hana calls with a smile as she carries a potted money tree out from the greenhouse. “I’m sure Kaneki-san is fine.”

Hide sits up from where he was slouching against the counter with his chin in his hands. A frown still lines his face when he turns to her on the cashier’s stool. The shop is empty now.

“Hana-chan, how often do ghouls need to eat?”

She tilts her head. “Hm, maybe once a month or two on a full body? Why?”

Hide’s frown deepens and he looks down at his phone, lying face-up on the counter.

“Has Kaneki-san been acting strangely?” Hana inquires, leaning in slightly.

Hide thinks back to the way Kaneki looked as he approached those men last night. The _hunger_, the almost lustful glaze in his eyes at the thrill of a fight and the way he licked his lips when Hide felt the knife break skin. How Kaneki’s fingers lingered a little too long as he was bandaging Hide’s wounds, and how careful he was this morning.

“I’m going to take a quick break,” Hide announces. He snatches up his phone as he stands up.

Hana nods and continues on her way. Hide steps through the narrow door that separates the shop from the supply closet, and pulls up a number he’s had on speed dial since college.

_Rrriiiiing. Rriiing. Rriiing._

“Come on, pick up,” Hide growls.

The ringtone plays a few more times before Kaneki’s voice—Kaneki’s old voice, Hide realizes with a start—answers.

“H-hello! Sorry, I’m not available right now, but I’ll call you back as soon as I can! Take care!”

The robotic voice tells Hide to leave his message at the tone, and he begins.

“Hey, it’s me. I just wanted to make sure you’re alright.”

Hide’s eyes dart around the shelves that line the walls of the small room, filled with everything from extra pots and bags of dirt to price tags and plant labels.

“You’ve been acting weird lately, and I don’t just mean you’re different. I mean, you are, clearly, but I know you. Even when I saw you in Cochlea, you weren’t like this. I’m worried. Call me back, Ken. See ya.”

Hide hangs up and steps back into the shop to find a customer he never expected to see.

“Um, welcome,” Hide greets, “Inspectors Arima, Amon.”

“Hideyoshi Nagachika,” Arima replies lightly, looking down at him through thick, rectangular glasses. “You’ve agreed to give Ken Kaneki temporary residence in your home, correct?”

“Yes,” Hide admits, glancing between the two of them. “Did something happen?”

“Perhaps it would be best to have this conversation in a more private location.”

So, shaking and trying to keep himself from panicking, Hide leads them up to the workspace upstairs. He offers them each a seat in the cold metal folding chairs and sits behind his desk on a third, shuffling some of the flower arrangements and boutonniere supplies out of the way.

“Sorry for the mess, this isn’t really, well…”

“Kaneki-san ran into this reporter yesterday,” Amon states.

He pulls out his phone and pulls up a video before he offers it across the table. Hide picks it up with a wary glance at the inspectors and presses play. A slick, made-good type of man appears on screen, grinning at the camera next to Kaneki, who is watching the man with a bewildered expression.

_“Hello, Tokyo! My name’s Ichirou Arataka, Japan’s number one freelance reporter! Today we’re here with Ken Kaneki, a formerly SS-rated ghoul known as ‘Eyepatch’. Tell me, Kaneki-san, how does it feel to be out of prison?”_

Hide dislikes him immediately.

Arataka begins interrogating Kaneki, asking loaded questions until Kaneki finally tries to excuse himself. Arataka presses one more sadistic jab at him and Kaneki snaps, cracking his knuckle in the way he does when he’s stressed as he tells the man they’re done. He starts to walk away but Arataka follows and forces him to stop again, despite Kaneki asking him to leave him alone. Arataka says something else and Kaneki slams him against a lamp post, and that’s where the video ends.

Hide slides the phone back without a word.

“As you can see,” Arima states, crossing one leg over the other and lacing his fingers atop his knee, “this puts us in a difficult position.”

Hide takes a deep breath. His hands are still shaking, but for an entirely different reason now.

“Kaneki asked Arataka to leave him alone multiple times,” Hide presents, looking the inspectors in the eye. “Arataka was intentionally trying to provoke him.”

“We know.”

Hide starts. He stares at Inspector Amon for a moment as he registers his words.

“You do?”

“Yes,” Arima continues with a nod. “That’s why we came to you.”

Hide inhales, letting his head tilt back as he sits up.

“Has Kaneki-san been acting strange lately? Other than this video,” Arima asks, narrowing his eyes slightly.

“What do you mean?” Hide returns. He wipes his palms on his jeans under the table, out of their view.

“We mean anything… suspicious.” Amon leans in now, his eyes calm and steady. “He was supposed to come by the CCG yesterday to pick up his meal packet, but he hasn’t. When we saw this video, we had to make sure. He hasn’t been disappearing or coming back covered in blood, has he?”

“No,” Hide replies immediately, taken aback. “Kaneki wouldn’t do that. He’s-”

A ghoul. He’s a ghoul, and he’s different. He’s been more guarded than ever and the way he speaks, his voice is still soft but it’s not because he’s shy anymore. Hide looks down, eyes going wide. His heart is beating fast, breath coming shallow. Kaneki wouldn’t risk it. But he refused to come see Hide today, and he disappeared last night even if he looked fine in the morning, but he’s not answering his phone… 

“Thanks for coming by, investigators. I’ll keep an eye on him and make sure he eats properly.”

Hide stands up in a daze. Every movement feels too intentional, too shaky. He bows to them and follows them to the door and down the stairs, but one of the investigators pauses at the base of the steps.

“Nagachika-san,” Arima states firmly, “if you have any information, it would be wise to give it to us.”

Hide smiles as he replies, “I’m sorry, I don’t. Come by anytime, okay?”

With a wave, he waits until the front door shuts behind them before he flings off his apron, tells Hana to close up shop and go home early, and sprints out the back door.

As he steps out onto the sidewalk and starts making his way toward home, he pulls out his phone and tries again. Kaneki doesn’t answer, so Hide leaves another, slightly more urgent voicemail.

“Kaneki, when you get this, call me back. The inspectors just came into my shop asking about you.” Hide glances down a dark alleyway as he passes it and sighs. “Please don’t do anything stupid. I’m heading back to my apartment to see if you’re there, so I’ll see you soon.”

With that, Hide hangs up and prays Kaneki is just stuck in a book with his phone on silent.

The alternative is too difficult to think about.

~+~+~+~

Kaneki is having a good day. He asked Touka to come with him today, and she took the day off to spend with him. They picked up their meal packages together and served it up at her place before they headed to the park, where Touka introduced him to the orphans. They sniffed his jacket and said he smelled yummy, which made them both laugh.

When they’re walking back to Hide’s, stomachs full and smiles on their faces, Touka finally checks her phone. She stops in the middle of the sidewalk when she sees the notifications. There is one missed call and texts from Hide, asking if she’s seen Kaneki. She looks up and shows him.

Kaneki’s first though it that Hide’s not in trouble, thank god, but he’s worried. He’s worried, and it’s Kaneki’s fault.

“Touka, thank you for today,” he tells her, “but I think you should go home.”

She startles and starts to ask him if he’s sure he doesn’t want her to keep walking him home, but Kaneki cuts her off.

“It’s alright.” Kaneki starts to back off down an alleyway. “Sorry, Touka, but I have to go.”

“Don’t tell me you didn’t tell him.” She gives him a look that says he’d better not have conveniently forgotten to tell Hide that he’s a few days behind on meals and was going to go out with Touka today.

Kaneki flashes her an apologetic smile and a, “See ya, Touka-chan!” before he turns and takes off running.

She shakes her head and pulls out her phone to text Hide.

_He’s headed your way._

The reply is quick.

_Thank you, Touka. I'll stop by tomorrow to give you that 2000 yen I owe ya._

~+~+~+~

Kaneki can smell the fear and anger radiating off Hide before he even opens the door. As soon as he does, Hide stops pacing the living room and turns to him with the most conflicted, scared expression Kaneki has ever seen on him.

Kaneki locks the door and freezes.

“I’m home,” he whispers, not yet daring to take off his shoes.

Hide rushes toward him. Kaneki flinches, expecting a punch, a slap, anything but the tight hug that comes.

“You idiot!” Hide’s embrace tightens, his voice soft but not broken. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Kaneki smiles, letting the tension release from his shoulders as he returns the embrace. “...I didn’t think you would want to be a part of this.”

Hide releases him with a heavy sigh and stands on the edge of the flooring, holding Kaneki at arm’s length. There’s a heavy look in his eye, but the anger is gone. His eyebrows are furrowed with a crease and his lips aren’t smiling like they usually do.

“I thought I was going to lose you again.”

Kaneki startles. “Hide,” he murmurs, reaching out to touch Hide’s cheek. “I’m sorry I worried you. Touka and I went to the CCG together today, so I already ate. It’s alright now.”

“Nevermind that. Did you see the video?”

Hide steps back as Kaneki starts to take off his shoes. Kaneki looks up and blinks.

“What video?”

Hide walks into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. “The one with that reporter you told me about yesterday.”

“Oh,” Kaneki replies. He looks down and hangs his coat in the closet by the door. “I imagine the public didn’t take it too well.”

“Yeah,” Hide snorts. “The investigators showed me, but I think you should see it for yourself. Don’t worry, they don’t blame you and they know nothing else happened, but they asked me to keep an eye on you.”

“They told you I hadn’t eaten,” Kaneki gathers.

Hide smiles and hands him a mug. “The video’s already gotten pretty popular, but it’s the same debate as always. If anything, I think more people sympathize with you than that reporter.”

“Good to know I’m not going back to Cochlea for it,” Kaneki remarks dryly, a faint smile curving the corners of his lips. “I lost my phone a long time ago and never bothered getting a new one.”

Kaneki takes a seat on the couch with his knees tucked to his chest. Hide comes to join him, seated at the other end with one leg stretched out and the other propped up to face him.

“How’s the book?” Hide asks with a nod toward where it rests on the coffee table.

Kaneki smiles at it. “It’s good. It’s nice not having to re-read the same novels. I think I’ve practically memorized Egg of the Black Goat by now.”

Hide chuckles and looks at him with concern. “Hey man, you okay?”

Kaneki startles. He’s felt better and more deeply these last few days with Hide than he has in years. Maybe he doesn’t quite feel whole, but after everything, he knows he probably never will.

“Yes,” he replies, touching his chin. “Why?”

Hide looks away, and that’s the first sign Kaneki gets that something’s bothering him.

“I don’t know man,” Hide starts, fiddling with his fingertips around the mug in his hands. “You just… you haven’t really been yourself lately. I know we haven’t really talked in a long time, but you can talk to me. What happened to you?”

Kaneki smiles. “Is this about the nightmare I had last night?” he asks softly. “I’m sorry if I woke you, Hide. I know I’m not the same, but don’t worry about me. I’m fine.”

Hide gives him a long look that shows he knows Kaneki’s lying, but there’s no anger in it. Kaneki looks down at the coffee in his mug to escape his old friend’s gaze, but he can feel it bearing down on him. He could tell Hide how he fears falling asleep every night because he wakes in a cold sweat more often than not. He could explain how the color red reminds him of the blood he spilled and the lives he’s taken. He could confess his sins, his fears, bear his heart and give Hide the ability to break what’s left of him.

He lets his eyes close as they start to sting. He wills the knot threatening to choke him to go back down. With the sunlight falling across half his face through the window among particles of dust and his hair a mess the color of starlight, he looked more broken and more human than he ever had.

“Please, Hide,” Kaneki begs softly. He presses his hands tight around the mug and hopes it hides his shaking. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Hide is quiet for a long, breathless moment. When he finally speaks again, his voice is soft, as if he's afraid Kaneki will break if he speaks too loud.

"Okay. Just know I'm here for you, okay?"

Kaneki opens his eyes at last to give him a shaky smile and says, "Thanks, Hide."

The "I love you" is silent at the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ending was going to be angsty but I can't bring myself to write that so chapter six is going to be the end.


	6. The Shield

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they were roommates!
> 
> Slight time skip, if it wasn’t obvious. Also, there’s a heavy smut scene later on so if you’re not into that go ahead and skip to the cut at the very end when you get to it.

“Are you going to Touka’s today?” Hide asks over breakfast, eating the eggs and toast Kaneki made for him at the countertop bar.

“Yes,” Kaneki answers, scrubbing the pan in the sink. “The interview on Gilgamesh Night should be airing tonight, if you want to watch it together.”

“Definitely,” Hide replies with a smile. “Stop by the shop later, okay? Hana wanted to talk with you about the book you lent her.”

“Of course.”

Kaneki hangs the pot to dry and picks up his coffee mug. He leans back on the counter facing Hide and sips it while Hide eats his breakfast. Things have settled down a bit in the last couple of months. His favorite days are Mondays (tomorrow and Hide’s day off) and the days he and Touka pick up their meals, because they both give him something to do during the day other than clean, read, or go to press interviews.

Kaneki has become something of a celebrity lately, and a voice for the peaceful ghouls. He’s faced some opposition from both sides, but his strength is nearly unrivalled. Other ghouls can’t take him down and humans can’t kill him, even with a quinque, as untrained as the few who get their hands on them usually are.

It’s a lot easier having the CCG’s protection. Especially when your case is handled by two of their best senior investigators.

So Hide finishes his breakfast, Kaneki cleans up while he gets dressed and ready, and they leave together in their winter coats with their scarves—Hide’s grey, Kaneki’s red—pulled up against the cold November air.

“See ya later!” Hide calls with a wave as they part ways.

Kaneki raises his hand in return and watches with a fond smile until Hide’s back is turned. Then he steps into the warm air of Touka’s café with a sigh as he pulls his scarf down.

“Morning,” he calls to Yomo-san, who returns his greeting with a nod.

“It’s Ken Kaneki!” a woman whispers at a table by the window, the one that used to be Hide’s favorite. “It’s really him!”

Her friend turns to stare at him, wide-eyed and gaping.

Kaneki smiles and gives them both a little wave. He thinks they smell human, but between the coffee and circulating human and ghoul scents, it’s hard to tell. They turn toward each other and start to whisper about him like he can’t hear, and it’s clear that one of them has had a crush on him for months. Kaneki turns to Yomo instead.

“Is Touka here?”

He nods toward the stairs and grumbles, “She’s getting ready.”

“Oh, thank you, Yomo-san,” Kaneki replies with a smile. “Hide and I really like your coffee, by the way.”

“The manager taught you how to make it right,” Yomo replies as he takes a used drip filter off to throw away. “You know better than anyone how careful she is with it.”

“You’re right,” Kaneki laughs.

One of the women moves toward him, blushing. Her eyes dart around the cafe and she fiddles with the book in her hands—_Egg of the Black Goat_, Kaneki notices.

“Um, Kaneki-san?”

“I was wondering when you were going to show up,” Touka interrupts, stepping off the bottom step with her hand on her hip. “Kaneki.”

Kaneki turns to look at her and his smile widens. She’s dressed in a clean black skirt with tights and short pumps, a ruffled white shirt and a warm-looking sweater that he gave to her two and a half years ago.

“Touka-chan, you look as beautiful as ever,” he replies teasingly, giving her a slight bow. He looks back at the girl—definitely human, he can smell her for sure now—to find her looking almost heartbroken. “Eh? What’s wrong?”

“I just…” She shifts her weight on her feet and turns away, her blush deepening. “I was going to ask if you would like to have coffee with me, but I see now you’re already taken.”

“What?”

“Come on, idiot, let’s go,” Touka says as she grabs him by the elbow and drags him toward the door. “Sorry, he comes by every so often if you want to see him again!” she calls to the girl still standing by the register. “See ya!”

As soon as they’re outside, Touka lets him go and smacks him.

“Hey, what was that for?” Kaneki retorts hotly, readjusting his scarf and the popped collar of his coat around it.

“You idiot.” Touka stands with her chin tilted back and her hands on her hips. “She was obviously about to ask you on a date.”

“What?” Kaneki exclaims, startled. “Why?”

She rolls her eyes. Kaneki worries briefly that she’s going to hit him again, but she simply lets her hands slip into the pockets of her coat.

“Because you’re attractive, idiot, and nice on top of that. Who wouldn’t want to go out with you?”

She says it so matter-of-factly Kaneki almost questions if he heard her right. Luckily, when he spends a moment staring at her instead of responding, she continues.

“I’m still in love with you, you know.” She looks away and begins walking toward Cochlea.

Kaneki hurries to keep pace. 

“I know you’ve been in prison for a long time, so I wanted to be sure I still felt the same before I told you.”

They walk another block in silence. Kaneki’s mind is running overdrive, and for once he doesn’t notice the way people stare at them as they pass by.

“Touka,” Kaneki calls gently as the building comes within view.

He takes her hand to stop her and holds her gaze when she turns to him. His expression is so sad. Touka inhales and holds her breath, tense.

“I’m sorry.”

She startles. He lets go of her wrist and watches it fall back to her side, limp.

“I don’t love you anymore.”

To his surprise, she simply tilts her head and smiles.

“I know,” she replies gently, brushing her cold fingertips against his ear as she tucks part of his hair behind it.

His roots have begun growing in black again. Hide insisted he start letting it fluff up, too, and Kaneki’s always been weak against him.

Touka leans in, standing on the balls of her feet to kiss him on the cheek. Then she whispers in his ear, “I hope you find someone who makes you happy, Ken.” With a smile, she steps back and dances out of his reach. “Come on, you don’t want to keep the investigators waiting.”

And so, with a sad, relieved smile, he follows after her.

Someone who makes him happy, huh?

Well, maybe Hide doesn't do that, but he makes Kaneki feel like everything is going to be alright. Like maybe there are second chances in this life and maybe Kaneki deserves it. He certainly makes Kaneki want to.

Kaneki stops in his tracks just outside the CCG. He stares wide-eyed at nothing, realizing something very important.

When Touka asks him what’s wrong with a knowing smile, he simply shakes his head and walks in with the lie, “It’s nothing,” on his lips.

If he leaves :re a little earlier than usual to head over to Hide’s shop, well. Who can blame him?

~+~+~+~

Hide is helping Hana piece together the flower arrangements for Handa-san’s wedding, the man who came in for a proposal bouquet, when Kaneki walks in. He looks up and smiles, greeting Kaneki like the close friend he is.

“How did it go?” Hide asks.

“I’ll tell you when we get home,” Kaneki replies, solemn.

Hide’s eyes widen. He looks at Kaneki as if to ask if everything’s alright, but Kaneki dismisses his worry with a wave.

“Nevermind that, how’s business?”

“Um, just fine,” Hide replies, still watching him carefully. “We’re almost finished here.”

In fact, as he says so, Hana ties the last white bow around the last bouquet and adds it to the crate. She chats with Kaneki about the book as she waters the Sunday plants and Hide starts to clean up. When Hide finishes, he sends Hana home with a wave and turns to Kaneki expectantly.

“Touka told me she’s in love with me,” he admits, watching Hide’s expression.

Surprise flashes across his features before he narrows his eyes slightly and frowns. “What did you say?” he asks, crossing his arms.

Kaneki looks at him for a moment. Hide always looks good in the denim apron of his shop, and he’s wearing khaki chinos with a blue collared shirt. His sleeves are rolled up past his elbows. His hair looks soft and messy as ever, with the shaggy ends barely past his jaw. Kaneki looks at his best and only friend for a long time, now both his roommate and the man he’s fallen deeply, irrevocably in love with, and smiles.

“I apologized,” he answers calmly.

Hide startles. He uncrosses his arms and leans back on the edge of the counter.

“I used to have feelings for her, but it’s been too long,” Kaneki continues. “Besides.” He swallows hard to stop the knot starting to form in his throat. “I like someone else now.”

For a long moment, Hide just stares at him. Kaneki watches his eyes widen, then turn toward the ground as a sad smile graces his lips.

“Oh,” he says softly. “That’s great, Kaneki.”

Hide turns his back to Kaneki and starts to clean up the leftover petals and clippings that cover the countertop.

“Are you going to ask her out?”

Kaneki blinks. “Hide, it’s a man.”

He watches Hide go still. He turns around again, and the expression on his face is both bewildered and almost hopeful. He starts to furrow his brow and parts his lips to ask a question, but none comes. Instead, Hide holds Kaneki’s gaze to find his own exhilarated fear and lust mirrored. In that moment, Kaneki realizes with absolute, heart-stopping certainty that his hopes and suspicions are true.

He crosses the distance between them in two strides and pulls Hide into a careful first kiss.

Hide leans back at first, but when Kaneki’s lips meet his own he closes his eyes and tilts his head to lean into it. Kaneki rests his hands on Hide’s hip lightly as Hide grabs Kaneki’s shoulder to pull him in farther. There’s stubble on Hide’s jaw, sharp, but Kaneki ignores it. He presses Hide against the counter with his thigh and relishes in the feeling of Hide’s lips and body pressed against his own, hot and soft and warm. Kaneki lifts Hide onto the counter as their kisses grows hungry, ignoring the sound of scissors clattering to the floor and the bell above the door.

“Um, excuse me?” a Japanese-looking woman asks with an American accent, stepping into the shop with a brown-haired man dressed in a tweed suit and thick, rectangular glasses. “Is this the store owned by Hideyoshi Nagachika?”

They break apart and turn, startled by the interruption. Hide’s chest rises and falls heavily as he tries to catch his breath and answers in Japanese.

“Yes?”

The Americans smile. The man starts to look around the shop. He carries a heavy-looking camera bag at his side.

“Sorry if we’re interrupting anything,” the woman continues with a lingering sideways glance at Kaneki, stepping forward with her hand outstretched. “We’re here for Time Magazine. My name’s Alice and this is my husband, John. We would like to interview you as a friend and roommate of the formerly SS-rate ghoul Kaneki Ken.”

Hide glaces at Kaneki, who shrugs. Hide edges himself off the counter and clears his throat. He shakes her hand with a slight, awkward bow before he responds.

“Well, um, how about going out for dinner then? I think that would be a better place to talk,” he stammers, turning toward Kaneki. “Then we can go home. Is that alright, Kaneki?”

Kaneki smiles at him with as much warmth and love as ever and replies, “Sure.”

Alice’s eyes widen in realization and she stares at them, her mouth shaped in a perfect “O”. Then she turns to the man, John, and whispers something in English.

“What was that?” Kaneki asks in Japanese.

“She said you’re the Eyepath ghoul,” Hide translates.

At Kaneki’s raised eyebrow, he adds with a shrug, “I learned English while I finished university.”

Now, both of the Americans are staring at them. Then John grins, and bows stiffly at the waist to Kaneki.

“Ko-nii-shiwa, Ken-sama,” he declares loudly. “Wa-ta-shiwa John-des-uu.”

Alice watches him struggle through the pronunciation with a pained grimace which might have been intended as a smile.

“Sorry, he’s been trying to learn on the plane,” she explains softly. “I tried to help him, but…” Alice gives them an embarrassed smile and touches her husband’s shoulder lightly. “Dear, you can straighten up.”

He jolts up like a soldier and puffs out his chest, grinning. His hair flipped while he had bowed, and now part of it stands straight up. His wife pats it down for him.

“Um,” Kaneki starts, blinking at them. “Let us walk with you.”

So Hide hangs up his apron, closes shop early, and the four of them leave. They walk down the street to an American-style restaurant known for their steak and ribs, take a seat at a booth, and order their drinks.

“So, Mr. Kaneki, how long have you been released for?” John starts as soon as he sets his menu down. He leans on the table with his wrists on the edge, fingers laced together.

“A few months now,” Kaneki replies with a nod after Alice translates for him.

“And Nagachika-san, you invited him to stay with you because you knew each other before his incarceration, correct?” Alice continues to Hide. “Is it alright if I record this?”

She takes out a small audio recorder and holds it up. Hide looks at Kaneki, who allows it with a nod. Alice turns it on and sets it on the table.

“We were childhood friends,” Hide confirms as he finally lays down his menu.

The waitress arrives with their drinks—Kaneki, coffee, John and Hide, beer, and Alice, a lemon sour—to take their orders. She startles briefly when she recognizes Kaneki, but he appreciates her professionalism. She accepts their menus with a smile and takes the consideration to ensure Kaneki doesn’t want anything else before she bows and walks away.

“Did you know Kaneki was a ghoul?” John asks.

Hide smiles and spares a sideways look at his best friend. He takes Kaneki’s hand under the table and Kaneki whips his head around to stare at him, wide-eyed for a moment as a blush creeps across his cheeks and the tips of his ears.

“Yeah, I knew,” Hide replies, gazing at him. “Kaneki got into an accident a while back and had a ghoul’s organs transplanted into him. That’s what turned him into a one-eyed ghoul.”

“So you used to be human,” Alice surmises, leaning toward Kaneki over the table. Her eyes are gleaming. “What was it like to turn? Did you have any qualms about eating people?”

Kaneki tenses. Hide gives his hand a squeeze for support and a comforting smile. Kaneki lets out a shaky breath and begins to tell them his story.

~+~+~+~

“You’re world-famous now!” Hide exclaims as they wander home. He all but hangs off Kaneki’s arm as he throws his own hand out to his side and sings, “Hey~! My boyfriend’s famous!”

“Hide,” Kaneki whispers, holding onto him carefully. “Sh, it’s the middle of the night!”

“Who cares?!” Hide slurs, leaning into him so suddenly Kaneki almost stumbles.

“Okay,” Kaneki laughs, catching Hide before he falls into the street. “I’m going to carry you home.”

Hide yelps in surprise as Kaneki lifts him, bridal-style, and steps onto a quiet side street. He listens close to ensure they’re alone before he releases his kagune and springs to the rooftop.

Hide oos and ahs as they fly above the city. Kaneki’s red scarf billows out behind him as he leaps from rooftop to rooftop, landing on his toes as he sprints and leaps to the next one, using his kagune for balance and the occasional prop. The cold night air bites at his neck and the tip of his nose, and it whistles through the front of his coat. Hide curls into him for warmth and Kaneki holds him close, careful not to jostle him too much as they run.

They alight on the roof of Hide’s apartment building and waltz down the stairs, Kaneki careful to keep ahold of Hide’s waist. They finally make it to the apartment and let themselves in, whereupon Hide kicks off his shoes and immediately throws himself at Kaneki.

“Hide!” Kaneki laughs, trying to take off his own shoes as he leans on the wall. “Please,” he begs, smiling.

“Mmh.” Hide peppers his neck and cheek with kisses, occasionally managing to hit the corner of Kaneki’s mouth.

Finally, Kaneki manages to finish taking off his shoes and scoops Hide into his arms. He returns Hide’s drunk, fervent kisses with a firm, calm one of his own, slow and sweet.

When he pulls away, Hide looks dazed. Kaneki smiles and holds him by the shoulders.

“It’s time for bed,” Kaneki says gently.

A grins spreads slowly across Hide’s face. “Are you coming with me?”

Kaneki rolls his eyes and turns his head away as a smile curls the corners of his lips. He takes Hide by the hand and leads him toward the bedroom. Hide keeps staring at him unabashedly, but Kaneki sits him down on the end of the bed and steps over to the closet.

“Here,” Kaneki calls, tossing pajama pants and a soft white t-shirt over. “I’ll go hang up our coats.”

He unwraps Hide’s scarf and helps him shrug out of his jacket. Then Kaneki leaves the room so Hide can get dressed.

Hide looks at the pile of clothes beside him, then at his own outfit, and decides he would rather sleep in his underwear tonight, if he sleeps at all. This results in Kaneki returning in his pajamas only to stop in the doorway and turn away for a moment at the sight of Hide’s clothes strewn about the room and Hide himself lying almost naked, only half-covered by the comforter.

“Holy shit,” Kaneki hisses, staring at the wall as he tries to calm his racing heart.

“Kaneki!” Hide calls, drawing out the vowels. “Come to bed!”

Kaneki shuts his eyes for a moment and waits for his body to calm down before he opens them again and steps into the room. Hide is lying on his back with his arm propped behind his head and his other hand resting on the comforter just below his navel. The warm light from his bedside lamp casts him in a golden glow reflected in his eyes, dark and unfocused.

“Hey,” Hide greets with a soft voice and crooked smile.

Kaneki stares at him. For a moment, he’s torn between the desire to run as far away as he can before he falls any deeper. There’s another part of him though that’s begging him to join the man in this bed and ravage him until sunrise, then stay in the comfort of his arms all day.

Instead, Kaneki turns off the light and walks stiffly over to the other side of the bed and lies down with his back facing Hide.

“Oh, come on, not even a kiss?” Hide drapes his arm over Kaneki’s waist and tucks his chin into the nook between Kaneki’s neck and his shoulder. “We just started dating and you’re giving me the cold shoulder. That’s cold, ‘necki.”

Kaneki closes his eyes and wills himself not to give in. “It’s late, Hide.”

“Is it because I’m drunk?” Hide pouts.

His hand slides across Kaneki’s hip so his thumb brushes the waistband of his black sweatpants. He watches Kaneki’s expression, biting the tip of his tongue, and smiles when he hears his boyfriend’s breath hitch.

Hide lowers his voice and murmurs, “How long have you wanted this, hm? How many times did you think of me in that cell?”

“Every single night.”

“Hm?” Hide hooks his thumb under Kaneki’s waistband and lets his hand fall lower. His fingertips begin to rub circles on Kaneki’s thigh. He leans in a little closer, lowering his voice to purr, “Do you want me, Kaneki?”

Hide blinks. He’s flat on his back now, with his hands pinned to the bed. Kaneki looks down at him with dark, hungry eyes, one of them black and violent red. Hide feels a jolt of fear and absolute, total arousal run through him at the sight.

“Hah, um,” Hide stammers, staring up at him as his heart hammers in his chest.

Kaneki smirks, and somehow that’s even hotter. Hide tries to move his hands, but Kaneki’s grip is iron. Hide feels himself growing hot under his silent scrutiny, helpless and completely at Kaneki’s mercy. He’s prey, and Kaneki knows it.

“Where did all that confidence go?” he murmurs. He leans in so his hot breath brushes Hide’s neck when he asks, “Do you still want this?”

“Holy fuck,” Hide rasps. “Oh my god yes.”

He tilts his head away to give Kaneki better access to his neck. Kaneki kisses and bites and sucks until he knows it’s going to leave a mark before he begins. He rocks his hips down to meet Hide’s, earning a gasp. Kaneki captures his mouth in a deep kiss that leaves them both breathless and has them returning for more until Kaneki releases Hide’s hands in order to touch him, trailing his fingertips down his abdomen. He grabs Hide’s hip to pull him into his lap and smiles against his lips as Hide bucks against him, hard and desperate.

“Kaneki,” Hide gasps, arching his back with his eyes shut, brow furrowed.

“Hm?” his lover responds, kissing along his thigh as he holds Hide’s leg just behind his knee.

“There’s, hah, there’s lube in the drawer.”

Kaneki pauses to glance over at the bedside table. He decides to save that for later and continues farther down Hide’s thigh until he reaches the edge of his lover’s boxers. Then Kaneki gently wraps his hand around his length through the fabric and starts to press his lips against the outline. Hide covers his mouth with his forearm to muffle the soft sounds that he makes, but Kaneki closes his eyes and listens. Hide’s moans send waves of heat through him, and he’s glad he chose not to wear boxers tonight. He pulls back long enough to take off Hide’s for him and tear off his own shirt, but as he returns to take Hide into his mouth, he releases his kagune.

He lets it move slowly, inching toward the drawer Hide mentioned and wrapping around Hide’s ankles. He grabs the bottle of lubricant and a string of condoms from the drawer, setting it beside him on the bed before he uses the end of his kagune to wrap around Hide’s wrist and pull his hand away from his mouth. Hide’s other hand comes to rest in Kaneki’s hair, tugging lightly.

But Kaneki doesn’t let him finish there. He sits up, watching Hide’s cock twitch in anticipation, dripping with saliva and precum. Kaneki uses some of the lube to start working him open as he leans in to kiss Hide, slow and gentle.

After a while, Hide is gasping and ready. Kaneki prepares himself, and the tight heat that engulfs him almost sends him over the edge. He rests for a moment to catch his breath and allow Hide to adjust before he starts moving, and both of them slip into bliss.

~+~+~+~

“That was…” Hide sighs, staring up at the ceiling as he tries to catch his breath.

“Incredible,” Kaneki finishes for him.

He turns over to look Hide in the eye. Hide’s hand settles on Kaneki’s chest and rises with his breath. Kaneki takes it in his own.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Kaneki begins in a voice barely above a whisper, his tone soft and gentle.

Hide simply smiles and pulls him in closer. Kaneki puts his arm around his lover’s shoulders. Hide gets settled against his chest and Kaneki presses his lips to the top of his head.

“Do you want to start sleeping in my bed now?” Hide asks.

Kaneki laughs softly. He laces his fingers with Hide’s between them and replies, “I’d love to.”

He can feel Hide’s smile against his chest.

For the first time in a while, Kaneki falls asleep easily and stays in bed late.


End file.
